Meet Big Albert

Another exciting day at home, I decide to ditch my run and do some mat pilates. I lie on the floor and am ready to being with a set of hundreds when I see a large-brown-leggy something running right for my face. With a small scream and an enormous jump, I'm up in time to see it change course and run under the couch. This spider is huge, an average size body with legs that stretch to a diameter of at least an inch if not more. I text Taylor and he laughs. 

Thus begins the battle Ashley vs. Big Albert. I crouch low to look under the couch and sure enough there he is, legs stretched out ready to run at a moments notice. The question now becomes how to get him. I need to scare him out of his hiding place and squish him. In my attempts he runs underneath the other couch. I get the broom and use the handle to scare him out of that couch. He crouches, obviously in terror of the giant before him, between the wall and the couch. Using the broom handle I try to smash him. And I miss...how could I have missed his giant legs? Sadly after this pivotal moment, he runs under the couch again and is gone forever. Though I stood sentinel for hours—to this day I have not found him.   

And So It Begins...

There have been multiple times since Taylor and I were married when I thought "I should have a blog because this is way too funny not to share." However, there have been equal as many times when I have thought "Every Mormon wife starts a blog, I am not going to!" Alas too many of those previous moments won out and here we are.

I suppose the best way to start out is by a quick recap of all those moments when I should have blogged.

Starting with the first. It was Taylor's second week of work and I was busy job searching. About 1 o'clock my stomach and my brain couldn't take the endless job descriptions and cover letters. I decided to have a quesadilla for lunch.

To fully understand this story you have to know a little about our kitchen. It's the perfect size, square foot speaking. It is a little sad when it comes to cupboard space and more especially when it comes to the opening of the cupboards. Though MASSIVE on the inside, the opening is only about six to eight inches wide. Try fitting a ten inch skillet into one of these, it takes nearly ten minutes to take out all the smaller ones, put the large one back in, do some minor rearranging and then finally be able to shut the door.

That being said, I went to make a quesadilla and I already had a skillet out and ready to go. It only briefly crossed my mind that this was stainless steel, not the typical nonstick I use for tortillas. But, as stated previously, my stomach and brain were passed their due date and I wasn't about to battle the pans in the cupboard.

I take my uncooked tortillas from the fridge peel one off and put it on my now hot pan. Big surprise, it immediately sears to the pan. I remove it from the heat, scrape it off and start again. Still, I am far too lazy to wash this pan, get a nonstick pan out only to have to wash that one as well, so this time I add some olive oil to the pan and am more careful in cooking my tortilla.

All goes well, cheese, beans, meat, salsa a few spices and life is good. I prepare to flip. My brain, fueled by the tantalizing smell, is in an even more desperate attempt to nourish itself and is thinking less straight than before. "I'll flip it with the flat wooden spatula I used to scrape my previous tortilla off. Sounds a bit risky...but it's a quesadilla, how hard can it be?" Well surprise surprise. Instead of flipping it over the whole thing opens face down and is now searing meat and cheese onto my nonstick pan. I grab a plate scrape as much as I can onto it, top it with salsa and sour cream and enjoy my lunch.